Expecting Father

Baclayon Church, Tagbilaran City

The thought of becoming a father could be exciting and wonderful. Seeing yourself with a daughter or son with his hand gripped at your fingers while walking in the park could bring good and intense desire to your heart. While this can be a great feeling to experience, the reality discloses a lot of struggles to get there. It is not easy. First, It takes a lot to find a wife, and even a lot more to find a good job in order to find a good wife, for some. And at my present situation, it takes a lot to go through with my wife in her first trimester of pregnancy.

When my wife told me that she’s pregnant, I smiled and silently thanked God. I knew she would be. We’ve been praying and have planned for this four months ago when we started not to become conscious about the dates of the month. In the next few days, I started doing errands as I’ve expected. She would ask me anytime of the day and of the night. Sometimes she would send me out again a few minutes after coming back from my last errand. She would have demands today and forever. These could be exciting if you choose to, and I’ve just chosen it.

Chocolate Hills, Carmen - Bohol

However, these excitements could cease if you turn to the other side. As I upload these thoughts to my web journal, my beautiful wife is almost a couple of months pregnant. It is her first trimester and she’s going through a lot of physical discomfort and normal weird behavior. She compares her feeling to riding a bus, nauseous and dizzy. I understand what she meant. Lots of books and people tell these stories. But what makes me feel her more was two years ago, I have seen her vomit in Rizal avenue of Puerto Princesa after coming down from a van during our Roxas trip. She let out from her mouth semi-digested food like the girl from the exorcist movie. It’s also painful. Today, she vomits what she eats three to four times a day in a week. When we asked our moms, they would tell the same struggle, and even worse. According to them, they even felt like dying. That maybe explains the kind of love a mother has for her child, and it makes me wonder about the guilt of a mom who abandons her child. It must be haunting.

Anyway, two nights ago while googling, I have read about Hyperemesis gravidarum – it’s a rare condition which affects about 2% in pregnant women. According to Wikipedia, (HG) is a severe form of morning sickness, with “unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids. The doctor as well said the same. We aren’t really sure about my wife having it but she experiences the same symptoms. The condition though doesn’t affect the child in the womb. This makes me realize more what my wife is going through. There are times when I tell about my wife’s struggles and people would say a few words which seems to me like a ridicule. My wife would tell me that she’s really not feeling well and she would defend it like I never heard her or know. She seems to be sensing an unbelief from other people like she’s faking it. Others would say you’ll be fine, its normal, I never went through that, you should pray etc. We’ve been praying everyday and every night and we will not stop.

Smallest primate - Philippine Tarsier

Fortunately, my wife had found comfort when we visited the other day the doctor who is also one of our godparents. My wife cried and they hugged. My wife told her condition and she understood it well instantly. That’s it. She needed a hug of love and understanding. Sometimes advices just won’t do anything good. One of our godparents told me that I don’t need to understand my wife, I’d just love her. And I think it’s true. Sometimes I really just can’t explain nor find words to describe or define my wife or explain conditions and situations. Just trying to understand may only involve the mind and not the heart. It can drive you to find the cause, effect and solution but without love, it could only be an ugly perspective. Seven more months to go and there will be lots of everything ahead of us. Situations that might restrain our relationship to others and ours. Whatever comes, I’d keep in mind to love my wife, remain strong and focus on our prize ahead.

Bohol Tropics Hotel and Resort

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