We are all a tripartite being with a body, soul and spirit. We can feel, think and reason. We gain knowledge, memorize, understand and act accordingly. We are able to choose, decide and keep ourselves from harm as long as we can, and think of ways to get out of unfavorable situations without violating others’ rights. And I also believe that we are created to unite, be at peace and help each other.
I believe that some people want to be involved and to belong to a community that accepts and defines his identity and vision – I am one of them. As a human being, we have many limitations and things that we need and want to do but cant do it by ourselves. Belonging to a community allows every person involved to offer their respective skills and resources, and as a result, each one benefit from each other with love and respect.
Recently, I felt a void in my heart. And I realized that there are answers that need to fill the empty space. I have been disturbed with many questions. Everything around me seems to be moving quick but nothing better has changed. People are busy and situations are so varied and keeps happening twice. I felt like an observer on a couch while I watch all these happen in a big screen.
I have seen productive people backing off. Others would rather keep silent than talk about their situations. Some would rather tell their problems to those who cant cope up with the same problems than tell it to those who are most qualified and are expected to render needed help. There are factions, divisions and pretensions. The faces and smiles no longer reflect what it should truthfully reveal. Behind each one’s mind is a memory of hurt and humiliation by their supposed to be brothers and sisters. Forgiveness is only in words or in thoughts. No action reveals genuine forgiveness and acceptance. How could a person exist in a community when he or she isn’t capable to cooperate with the rest or some? How could someone pretend to cooperate?
With the best that I can, I have observed that some people back away from the community because of certain reasons:
1. Pride. They cannot accept the judgment thrown at them. Either when the judgment is wrong or right, they’d rather shut off than submit to the discipline of the authority. Despite the case, a caring and loving community still allows them to stay and bear the burden.
2. Some back off because they don’t receive enough understanding from the community. Its either that the community is inexperienced to deal with particular cases or doesn’t feel the need and miscalculate the degree of struggle of the person.
3. Some back off because they cannot find an ally who will stand with them. Though the community needs to be fair, I believe that at times like this, its about saying the right words at the right time and not necessarily become an ally. The bad thing is, they would then find comfort in the circle of people who haven’t moved on from similar struggle and it only helps their anger and hatred to escalate. There’s a truth then about the angry birds of the same feather who flock together.
I have observed that when some people are in trouble, and they don’t share, there’s always a hint. If they are too careful not to make it obvious in the community, it will always be known by someone. And when others share, the usual answer they’d receive would unvariedly be, “just pray for it, we’ll be praying for you too”, “Be strong”, or will just read you a verse or quote. Its like a thought spoken with no interest to know more. Some may be encouraged with these but it doesn’t work all the time, because others might be looking and expecting for practical solutions or suggestions. In that way, they’d feel cared, loved and unique.
This is also a lesson for me. It allowed me to take a careful reflection of myself how am I contributing to every community I belong. Community is from the word commune which means, “to share”.