I remember the feeling four years ago when I finally started to fulfill my decision of spending my lifetime with the one I truly love – my wife Rowena. It was like the physical pressure to your chest as you dip in neck-deep water. There was a mixed force of excitement and anticipation.
Our wedding day was almost perfect. My joy was at its highest peak and absolutely nothing else occupied my being. It is indeed true that at this stage – all burdens, worries in life, problems and distresses go away for a longer period of time. Realities don’t hit you yet as these moment seems to be unbounded by time. That joyous moment was unique and unforgettable, and incomprehensible by anyone who hasn’t gone through it.
A time eventually came when the realities of what I have thrown myself into hit me. This is it.
Life with a spouse is not perfect. There will be many moments of miseries and inconveniences. The top five reasons of marriage breakups as studied by experts will try to tear apart the couple, as each as well, will be torn between giving up and working it out. There will be silent nights and outrage inside because of simple misunderstandings and complicated things that just comes out of nowhere. Verbal arguments of accumulated unsaid statements of bitterness, negative expectations and regrets will be as easy as when I love you’s are exchanged. Two unique people, no matter how you try to comprehend, will always be different. There are complexities in relationships which are difficult and almost humanly impossible to solve. These has caused separation, divorces, annulments, break-ups and pursuits of lawmakers and activists to legalize these acts.
There is one thing however that I believe will keep couples together. It is the true love – God. 1 John 4:8b mentions that God Himself is Love. It is our love for God that enables us to love. It is Him who enables us to love through His grace. God’s love will be brought into full expression by those who have Him in their lives (1 John 4:12b). It is very important then to let God be in the center of every relationship. 1 Corinthians 13 is the perfect description of Love. It portrays God’s love which we ought to follow.
Four years to us seems long but fast. Many have happened and though there were rough days, there were many wonderful things that God has blessed us with. One of them is our daughter – Summer Gael. She is a miracle. It always brings us wonder every time we remember when there was only the two of us until Summer came along. She is the fruit of our Love and a treasure from God. Another blessing from God are our parents and sibling who continuously care and support us in many ways. The friends and families who accepted us in this foreign city are also one of God’s great blessings. God has sustained us in many ways proving His word in Matthew 6:30 – And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you?
Marriage is a voyage to bliss which you will more appreciate and long for in the presence of hardships. It is the grafting of two hearts, souls and minds in a covenant to commit to one direction. Amos 3:3 was God’s revelation to me during my two months of praying before courting my wife – Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?
Marriage is wonderful. Four years may be short to let me conclude but the truth that marriage was God’s design and instituted by Him (Genesis 2:24) is enough to say that it is good. James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
To all the men who are ready and are planning to get married, go on and find your wife, she’s your treasure. May you find favor from the LORD. 🙂